Why secretaries are girls?

I am always very curious about the fact that why most of the secretaries are girls?

Today I was just having a look at my organizational structure and I found out that almost all the leaders have a secretary to support them and all of them are ladies. I know this is a very stupid topic, but still can you have any logical answer for this?

Though I don’t have any personal agitation against only ladies bang on the secretary jobs, but still…

If you look carefully, and observe patiently….most of them are stunners (even aged ones also).

So after loads and loads of research on this topic I came here the following conclusion:

•       Corporate Leaders motivate the people…so they also need high amount of motivation in return. (And if the motivating source happens to be an eye candy then waka waka….even I can be a leader).
•       People say poets have a third eye to look at the scenario. So I used my poetic vision and analyzed all the facts only to find out the simple fact.

A).Non-leaders (worthless people who are reading the blog currently)always feels motivated just by looking at the secretaries…they also want to get the leaders position….so competition increases and organization smiles with lots of profit margin(and hence recruits more of them to increase competition and politics.)

B). Leaders (whose secretaries are reading the blog currently) will get complex and hence to retain their position get competitive.

So secretaries do play a upper hand in the quarter results of companies.

Hence as per me it summarizes why mostly secretaries are ladies.

Letter From Rabindranath Tagore

Many days back read a story regarding Rabindranath Tagore’s letter to a person. So just thought of sharing the fact ….

People know that if anybody gets a letter from any legend,& specially from Rabindranath himself then they  used to bind the letter or any reference in a big photo frame and showcase it in the living room for guests to see it and in turn feel  the status symbol.

So the story goes like this….In a reputed family of South Kolkata, there was a discussion between Mrinmoyei and her neighbor housewife Kuheli.Kuheli’s father-in-law studied in Shantiniketan (Rabindranath Tagore started  the school of his ideals, whose central premise was that learning in a natural environment would be more enjoyable and fruitful).So at the time of passing out from there her father-in-law  got a letter written by Rabindranath himself, for his participation in cultural programs, excellence in studies  & etc. etc.

So Kuheli and her husband framed it and showcased on the entrance of the main dining hall of their flat. Naturally if anybody sees and discussed about it, Prides Kuheli in turn.

After the discussion Mrinmoyei also remembered that her father-in-law also part of Shantiniketan for a short time. Curiously she decided to take the matter, if her father-in-law also possesses some letter or not.

Her father-in-law was sitting in his ezy chair in the balcony and reading newspaper.Mrinmoyei enters the room and asked him.

Mrinmoyei:”Baba, I have a curiosity….don’t know whether to ask you or not…”

Her father-in-law nods in a very slow passion, signaling a yes.

Mrinmoyei:”Baba, I know you have studied in Shantiniketan for some time…so just thinking….if u also got any letter from Rabindranath …like Kuheli’s father-in-law got….”

Her father-in-law sat for some time quizzed…perhaps trying to remember something….Mrinmoyei was asking for something….he left long time back….He looked up..saw Mrinmoyei’s curious & anxious face…he thought…she was a good daughter-in-law, and he didn’t want her to be sad…she never asks for anything from him in past…but what she was  asking him from now was a big thing….again he lost in thought for some time…then slowly walks towards his almirha,opened a file, took out a piece of paper & gave it to Mrinmoyei….

Mrinmoyei:”Baba, really you have a letter? Why didn’t you show us earlier? We could have also framed it…” she was in super joyous mood.

She started reading the letter with great appreciation in mind.

The letter goes out like this:

Rabindranath was addressing her in-law’s father…

“Dated…

Dear Paritosh Babu,

Hope my letter finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to you for the fact that your son Priyanshu is disturbing my quiet and peaceful atmosphere of Shantiniketan.He troubles the teachers here a lot, steels fruits and flowers from the garden .He is not at all concentrating on his studies and bunks the class regularly. He even locked a teacher in the bathroom and scared one lady attendant by acting as a ghost.

It is my sincere request you to kindly take your son from here as he is a great misfit for this place.

Hope to see you soon.

Yours sincerely

RabindraNath Tagore

(Signed)”

Mrinmoyei blast out laughing after reading out the letter. It was such kinds of letter that you cannot show it to anyone …forget framing it.

She looks at her father-in-law, he was looking in the sky…..lost somewhere.

Independence day?

Once on the occasion of Independence Day celebration once I went to invite the local SP of Police as a chief guest in my college.

When I reached the SP’s office I saw a old lady sitting in the chair. She was wearing a sari …not washed for a quite a long time… a worn out chappal, and with a blank expression on her face.I thought may be she is waiting for somebody.

I moved to the SP’s chamber, and after all the discussion like how would be the function, what were the arrangements made for entertainment, how many guest  a chief guest can bring…as he wants to bring her wife’s family along with him…I took his permission  handed over the invitation card…and moved out of the chamber.

On the way of coming back, I saw the same old lady sitting on the chair….

Curious as why so she is waiting for such a long time … I asked one of the Sub Inspectors what was the case?

He replied “Are sir she is waiting for her Son”.

I asked “her son is in lockup?” in turn he said ”are yaar her son was involved in the Student Politics…and in once In the Opposition party’s rally for which he was participating….we got orders to break the rally  the people from Govt.  And in course of doing so we had to fire some rounds in air…but unfortunately her son got shot …and died on spot”.

I asked”why don’t you tell her that her son will never come back now?” He replied “Are you mad or what? The death of her son is not on the record…and if I do tell her like what happened…it will unnecessary will create an enquiry”. I asked “does the opposition part knows it for which he is fighting?”

The sub Inspector replied”Man they only told us to drop the case as it may steer some vote bank out. And now don’t irritate me I am already quiet bugged up by this old lady and can’t answer you further questions on this. We are so populated what will happen if somebody dies? Does the system stops? Now please go and let me do my work.”

“Then why the hell she is waiting for so long? What you guys story her?”I cried..

“We told her son is in Lock up due to some party workers arrest and will get bail in some days “he replied e motionlessly.

Coming back with a heavy heart I saw the old lady with wait in her eyes …still waiting..

Some patriotic songs were playing by the local guys outside the SP’s office…

I went to the lady…thought to tell her all the truth…”Maa’m” I asked politely….She looked up with the expression of her eye…pain, wait…”Do you know my son? He is just like you…yours age only…”

I couldn’t utter a word just managed to say”Yes… he is good and will be back home in a few days”.

She might have got strength from my words…got up and walking slowly outside the office...with some bit of satisfaction and relieve on her face…

Again a new Patriotic song being played by the local guys outside…she waited for a long …turned back and asked me ”Do you know my son is also fighting for Independence?”….she slowly walked out …off the roads.

Interview Experience

“Mr. Roy your turn next”……a sexy chick with a sexy voice announced my name.

Slowly with heart beating like Mumbai local train went inside the meeting room.

A weird old man with spec’s on eye, sitting there with the laptop, never bothered to look up.

Me: Good Morning sir.

Old guy: call me Arunya.

Me: ok Arun….

Old guy: Not Arun...Arunya (Shakespeare once said...”whats in a name”…I am sure he didn’t read that) .

Old guy: Ok Mr. Roy so I have your resume in front of me…..tell me something about yourself.

I thought that if you have my resume with you, why the hell do you want to ask me this famous stupid question?

Me: Actually Arunya..Then blah blah…..and again blah blah.

Old guy: Well somenath, before we formally start the interview process, just want to know what kind of work you have really done and how flexible are you?

Thought that am I speaking with a deaf guy until now? Didn’t he hear whatever I have told until now?
And I am not at all flexible for god’s sake….I didn’t learn gymnastic.

Me: Sir..i did this ,did that ..Again blah blah and you can’t even imagine how flexible I am.

Old guy: It is Arunya somenath …no sir again….

Me: Right Arun…..sorry Arunya...

Old guy: Ok somenath I want you to explain me about the Application process…..

Me: Arunya actually…….

Just only started to explain with some imaginary actions …throwing my hands in the air…he stopped me.

Old guy: Can you please explain all those things you are saying the white board?

Looked at the right corner of the room…..there is certainly a whiteboard waiting for me ….
Tried to draw a diagram…..don’t know actuallt what shape it has taken but Arunya got very pissed off with that.

Old guy: Is that the way you describe the application process in your organization?

Me:Arun…sorry Arunya it is just a generic flow…you know…..(tried to act like smart ass but my real expression is of a owl at that time….)

Old guy: ok then please define the generic process….

Me: Actually the process….basically the process…

Old guy: Yes Mr. Roy I am listening….

Me: Lied …lied…lied…laid the hell out there…..

But surprisingly Arunya seemed to be quiet impressed…

Old Guy: tell me the connectivity xml inside your web server.

Me: Sir …..boolshit Arunya…can I drink some water?(I was feeling like somebody put a rasgulla with no Rus inside my mouth and it was drying my mouth).

Old guy: OK….(he put out a brand new mineral water bottle ….i guess the HR guys given for his purpose…and his expression is like the figure 5 on face).

Old guy: what is the need of AET somenath?
What is temporary record?
Why do we even need temporary and AET and dynamic views?

That bloody old fellow asked three questions in a row...Three atom bombs..

Me: gulp…gulp…gulp… (For each question I had one gulp of water from the bottle).

Old guy: Why you are sweating so much?

Me: Humidity……Mumbai whether is very humid today…

Old guy: can you please elaborate about synchronous process?

Till this time I was able to hear background songs from old Hindi films playing in my mind…. (“O
palan hare –from Laagan”).

Me:Arunya synchronous processes don’t like to get elaborated...they like to be synchronous only (tried to somehow dodge the question).

Old guy: You didn’t get my point Mr. Roy…ok then can you elaborate asynchronous process? I hope they don’t even mind to get elaborated?

Me: gulp ….gulp… (Water level was reducing from the bottle….)

Old guy: Ok don’t get stressed up….tell me how can you convert a process of synchronous nature to async. And vice-versa?

Now the song playing in my mind was “main yeda geda chillaunga kurta fhadke”…a Govinda film…can’t remember the name exactly.

Me: Actually sir…sorry arun…hehe….Arunya…a sync and sync process piggybank on each other depending on the situation.[really don’t even know the answer…told what came to my mouth at that time.]

I thought that I have given a very meaningful answer…but it seemed he didn’t liked that at all. Expression like somebody forcefully winked at his daughter and he caught that…..

Old guy: that’s one of the most rubbish answers I have ever heard…..Ok leave it….Now lets go into some deep functional areas.

Background song in my mind (“khwaja mere khwaja”—from Jodha Akbar).

Old guy: tell me the primary functionality of marketing & order capture.

Me: gulp…. (Water finished…..me too)….err...Means….basically…..

Old guy: don’t waste my time somenath; just give the damn answer …..

Me: when we fail in marketing we used to capture some orders (told in one breath…..and then realized what I had just said……..)

He seemed to lose all his faith at that point on God .He shut down his laptop and came closer to me with his revolving chair.

Background song in mind (“Sunta hain mere khuda”---from Pukar.)

Old guy: don’t get nervous somenath, are you?

Me: not at all Arunya….. (Though my legs are shaking like any C grade movie heroine).

Old guy:Ok tell me the basic modules and brief some CRM concepts you have implemented

I thought this is my time to hit the nail in the dock with a big hammer.

Me: blah ….blah……and blah...Blah…continues.

Old guy: very good …that’s the way …..Now tell me the automated ticket creation..

Me: (caught me with a condom like expression….) basically Arunya it has been implemented by third party outside my module…

Old guy: Third party? I only support congress party you know? Never heard of anything like that…..

Me: No No arun….Arunya ….you are not getting my point….actually…

Stopping me in the mid way….

Old guy: I will change my name …to Arun …I will put a affidavit to court today…happy?

Me :( embarrassed…) we have some interfaces around our module to implement those functionalities and we just need to integrate with them.

Now he seemed to be a bit happy…

Old guy: hmnn….good one…

Me: (can anybody please tell me where is the washroom? Finished 1 and half liters of water….need to go…)

Old guy: Ok somenath, I am over from my side do you have any questions?

I just had one question at that time, but can’t tell him …..Way to washroom…

Me: No Arunya….

Old guy: Ok somenath, then the Hr will contact you for your remuneration discussion …you can go to cabin 74.

Me: thank you….nice talking to you (rushed out……PT Usha would have also embarrassed to see my speed at that time…)

Security personal: Sir, meeting room 74 is on the left, Hr guys are waiting for you…where are you going?

Me: HR ki to main…..washroom kidher hain be? Jaldi bol…..

So that’s the way I had given my interview….

Boolshit

From past few days I am thinking what to write exactly….actually just not in a mood and redundancy of the topics.


Shall I write about office politics? Naah..Already written something and all people go through the same experiences, so no use.


Shall I write about Indian politics? Newspapers and TV channels are doing it 24/7 so no need to bug up anybody with my expert opinions, you can now a day even hear them on every coffee table discussion.

Shall I write a poem? Today I am not drunk so rhythms are not matching.


Should I write about human nature, like good or bad? Many days back in my school days once my biology teacher (will not name….hope people are intelligent enough to understand) termed one of my friend as a bad guy just because he was not able to cope up with some intellectual group of the class. Felt very bad that day, could’nt say anything…but just thought an impression of a person to another if turned into character assassination then it just implies the first one’s own character. Going very deep! So leave it.


Or shall I write about the about the “touch me not” group in any class who permanently got the title of “dirty”, though no fault? I know many people from my education background couldn’t even think of any incident that gives them the title, counter hand I know instances when their own “good friends” ditched them badly.Anyways I am no body to tell whom so ever, just some random thoughts.


So what should I write? I am doing this I am doing that? Boolshit!!
Yes finally ….finally got the topic…I should write about boolshit…. Whatever you guys are reading till now are nothing but just boolshit.


Sometimes even boolshits do sense something rather than some heavy duty writing.

Social networking

On a day of their first vacation

little twin sisters died for some Maoists assassination

facebook says-movie is good ,go and watch

needs your appreciation,

A mother is standing on the railway track,

looking to her dead child in last admiration,

twitter says- going to Paris

enjoyment is a justification.

I am no rebel,and not doing complain and blame

and neither in self apprehension

i know life moves on,but on the day if we do not utilize

the social network to give support and inspiration

then in my point socializing via facebook and twitter is of no utilization,

If you compare between them and us you'll always find

a very thin line of differentiation.

Paranormal Activity

Well to begin with …i am damn miserable with girls.Do’nt know why but though after being studied in a Co-ed still I fill the jitters in my stomach [I don’t have gastric problems …so clear all the gr8 thoughts]when I have to interact with someone from the opposite sex.
It is not all time the same case…suppose someone I like a lot, I always felt that If I approach I would definitely scatter all the things…..always have the confidence on the lower side.
But if I don’t like someone…then the case is just on the reverse gear[though happens very less time….]

Chapter1:

It all started with a girl in my coaching center [chemistry coaching to be precise….]…I do like her a lot….her talk, her eyes, her smiles[she has a Deepika Padukon like smile….seriously….”mard ko dard dene bala”]etc. etc… in short I was /am completely mesmerized by/with her.i always used to thinks of her , and tried n no of ways to influence her…..i still remember how I used to wait on the roadside from where she used to come in the Riksa….and how every time my gotdamn chemistry teacher used gangbang me in front of her and the other students…

Anyways there after family moved down to Hyderabad…..lost all the contacts.
Many days later found her on FaceBook….Married!!!And adding injury to insult she is a Mom now.

Chapter2:

One of the major support system in my college(my lovely college which I described in my previous posts) was definitely not “a” girl…but bunch of girls.
One of them ….a stupid moron in the lot is/was(kill the tense…don’t make sense) had a liking towards me(can you imagine…even I can’nt.GOD exits !halleluhiah!)OK to curt sort I used her…totally ..for be it assignment preparation….giving proxies in the class…extra curricular etc.etc.
On the farewell day she proposed me…and I had to act as a dude infront of my friends ,so I rejected(first time I wrote ejected by mistakenly…)firmly .
I will never forgot the face..The tearful eyes….she had upon hearing my answer.
Anyways never bothered to have any contacts with her after college….just heard few days back she is in US…settled.

Chapter 3:

Will write some other day…..

Ragging -

Just getting a bit nostalgic of my hostel life…so planned to write some crap & and nothing can be a good start than the ragging incident happened.

I remember the first day I landed to the hostel with my father…a bit anxious and a bit careless attitude[as I protested my father’s decision to study in that particular college].Got the room[534 I guess..can’nt remember perfectly] and went there to find another guy [Prasant….’ll write a whole episode something about him later] already there. After some crap advice my father again went for Hyderabad left his son to become a gr8 engineer[sorry dad disappointed u thoroughly though…hehe].
Anyways..after our parents went away me and Prasant bonded really well with some smoke [I tell u …smoking people really bonded very well..]& also he told that he has a senior here from his native town and will protect us from the very famous ragging of our hostel. After hearing these stuffs [specially the protection from ragging one..]I started respecting Prasant a big way.
At midnight we got a call from downstairs that some of the seniors are very willing to meet us for healthy career oriented discussion. So very unwillingly we went there [me in hope of Prasant’s big mouth promises of his senior native friend].After entering in the room I found some [nearly 10-15] people with glasses and bottles of whiskey and suttas sitting there..Giving me the intuition that it is definitely not to be a career oriented discussion.
Firstly we were told to give our intro to them..Starting from our birthplace etc. etc.
As just started that born in Kolkata…first question bumped up….”directly land kiya ? aur land karte hi pata chal gya place ke bare mein? Abhimanu hain kiya?”
Digested those stuffs in tomato red face. Then told that after completing higher secondary got here…again one bullet …how we have landed here, what autos and bus we have taken through he route which train ,what is the ticket and pnr no[as if their bro-in-law is the PR manager of the Indian railways..].There after the questions were just about getting too personal to handle…I was looking to Prasant ,and giving him the “ya khuda kar madad” type look and waiting for his friend senior. Prasant though seemed pretty confident. He was trying to get friendly with them..Offering them cigarettes.. ..Joking with them.
One of the seniors then targeted his source to Prasant.Asked him how dare him to smoke in front of them? Prasant casually replied he knows one of the seniors of their batch…suddenly they discussed something and let us go from there…..i thanked Prasant on reaching our room.
Next day again my 2 very dear friends Mohi and Rajat joined us in our room to become the scrap goat of ragging.
The same incident happened again in the night…but this time Prasant got the attention[he was slapped and punched by nearly everyone in the room…obviously except us]..and yes his famous senior friend did arrived but only to add insult to injury….that crap was laughing like hell[at that time I thought that I should put some kerosene on his mouth to stop his laughter….]…..
One of my senior was explaining me the famous law of inertia at that time….he was slapping me by getting his hand positioned far way then zet speedily hiting on my face and consoling me”see feel the intertia?tu agar thora piche hat ta to tereko utna nahi lagta….that is intertia for you ”[at that time I was thinking of smashing Newton’s head with iron rod instead of the famous apple……]…..
Later on I was told to sing Rabindra sangeet in Punjabi rock style…. [Poor Rabi guru…he could have probably stop writing songs after that attempt…anyways brave people never stops attempting..]

……to be continued……

Inside Picture of Corporate Meeting

@Today moi posting a live exp of International Meeting....Hope people like it[Thora footage khaa raha hun:P]
1.A man with Undertaker like beard spoke like the Gr8 Khalli[WWE fame].."aboobooaboo..."..kuch samja ...mereko bhi nahi

2.Some of the senior persons are sitting with their Laptops[with screen down...probably in hibernate mode]....may be thats how laptops to be utilized. [Jungle Jungle aag lagi hain.....:P]

3.Every body is trying to give the look "who told u moi sleeping?"....and showing some of the rarest human emotions.

4.Every body is showing frustration with Ms Ppt..... it doe'snt shows the no of slide in the prsnt. when in full screen mode.... [are ye slides kahatm hi nahi hota....]

Finally and most important part the "Q&A round...."

Some thumb rules:

1.If u try to become super attentive and try to ask some Questions and if the Answerable person is ur senior in the company u'll find ur ratings will go down....and ur performance 'll get the shit-bit.
[aisi galti dobara mat karna.....]


2.If Somebody asks ur opinion on the meeting :

if(person is senior and can hamper u in the office)
{
very very good presentation....never heard such kinda facts in my fathers lifetime;
}

else(if the person is junior to u)

{
don't think twice before bullying him/her[her:depends upon statistics];
}

End-if;

So next time people follow these important facts before ur office meeting and definitely u'll get promoted....

Introduction to Blogging

Hey u Crazy bloggers...bcoz of u i am forced to open an a/c...tired of hearing comments like "do'nt u write blogs?"[imagine that to from sexy chicks:P]....Anyways so to cut of these "excuse me got to pee" like situations i am here...

see i have promised to my self that at least in my blogs i will try to avoid lying[u fattos it is not one of them...]...so some thumb rules:

1.All u English-fool people be at home never dare to come out of the loo to this blog.

2.whatever i write,moi need goody goody comments....as we need to provide inspiration to the budding writers in our Country.[doesn't ur mommy tought u not to laugh at somebodies emotional outburst?..hehehe]

3. All characters in my writings are 100% real....but if u find resemblance with ur life.. then it is purely imaginary.

Kidding guys.....needed some thing to pour my heart.....so moi arrived...[:D]

watch out for more....